2003-07-23T22:47:00.000-07:00

woopee new blog.. xanga got kinda boring.. well... i dont know.. i hate xanga.. its the new "rave". stupid sheep.. god.. i wanna die so bad rite now.. i dotn know.. whats wrong with me.. nothings going on.. i just feel empty.. nothingness.. despair.. i dotn know why im always sad. or anything.. its just because.. i dont feel anything.. depression is what they call it.. ive been going thru that alot lately.. i cant stop it. i try to b happy.. and b okay.. and b cheerful.. but it doesnt work.. i thought as the older i got.. it would go away... but it didnt.. it doesnt.. it wont.. its here to stay..and i guess ill b like this forever.. yea.. i kow im talking crap.. people telling me.. its only temporary.. well they dont know the shit ive been thru.. and im weak.. i admit it.. IM WEAK.. i cant take this crap.. i cant take drama.. i cant takte the screaming and yelling.. its too much for me.. i cant let it out.. i have no support.. no one to guide me.. no where to go.. no future ahead.. im stuck.. nothing seems to help.. god loneliness... aint it a bitch... i really cant go on living like this.. i know im being selfish.. i mean think about all those people in the world.. suffering from noncurable diseases.. starvation.. unknown illnesses.. and here i am.. bitching about how empty i am?!... wtf is wrong with me.. i dotn kow.. im juss one selfish lil bitch.. always thinking about myself.. ok im done.. im gonna go cry myself to sleep.. toodles

I hate you. go away.